---

Time will tell, I've never given up hope, because someone needs to have it.

And by chance, if you're still here... Best of luck to you, and I hope you find your happiness in life.

---

-------
MushroomSatsujin needs to get ME a beer.

& if you blink nigga, your life could be over; we got no time for sleep

---

D: You need a hug. -hug.-

---

Someone else needs a hug more than I do, but that may be something that he never gets, or he'll never give himself a chance to get.

The internet is scary, because the mere closing of an account or the disappearance of a member leaves you with nothing.

and become an angry cynic

its less comfortable and routine

but its not miserable any longer

-------
Quote from barnabas at 1:00 am on Dec. 4, 2008
doommaker was a very helpful member,
until he went crazy,
and we were left with you.

---

ive left depression

and become an angry cynic

its less comfortable and routine

but its not miserable any longer

---

I've left depression, but sadly, I'm a worrier at heart -__-'.

Sometimes, I wish it would be nice to get rid of any emotion... but it's not something I'm consciously capable of, and not something I truly wish to do.

C'est la vie.  Live life, move on.

and gain a really really broad perspective

and have almost nothing to lose

then the sky is the limit

but theres nothing really to reach for

-------
Quote from barnabas at 1:00 am on Dec. 4, 2008
doommaker was a very helpful member,
until he went crazy,
and we were left with you.

---

you just have to stop giving a crap about everything

and gain a really really broad perspective

and have almost nothing to lose

then the sky is the limit

but theres nothing really to reach for

---

Yes, I've hit points like that, but only when I reached my worst state of depression.

Sadly, doing what you're asking is to destroy everything I've been for the past 18 years... and it's so fixed into my life (in fact, it's part of my faults), that it's not something I can turn around.

My concern and worry for others and events is one of the things that really takes a toll on me sometimes, and if I could at least tone it down to a normal level, that would be nice, lol.

usually with these things its impossible to be 'normal', once you get over it if you truly do (not many people really do) you end up pretty different than everyone else, because there was a legitimate reason or problem for why you felt that way in the first place

-------
Quote from barnabas at 1:00 am on Dec. 4, 2008
doommaker was a very helpful member,
until he went crazy,
and we were left with you.

---

everything can turn around, it just takes time. and theres a big difference between actually being there philosophically and just being miserable

usually with these things its impossible to be 'normal', once you get over it if you truly do (not many people really do) you end up pretty different than everyone else, because there was a legitimate reason or problem for why you felt that way in the first place

---

Yeah...

but its boring and its lame to realize that all your efforts got you absolutely nowhere in terms of doing anything productive in the world

because not much can really be done

but if you had known this in the first place, wouldve been nice

-------
Quote from barnabas at 1:00 am on Dec. 4, 2008
doommaker was a very helpful member,
until he went crazy,
and we were left with you.

---

well its better than being a sheep

but its boring and its lame to realize that all your efforts got you absolutely nowhere in terms of doing anything productive in the world

because not much can really be done

but if you had known this in the first place, wouldve been nice

---

I don't know about being a sheep... and I don't have to necessarily feel productive to gain happiness.  I have a few things which are my hopes for the future, and that's all I need.  Productivity... is very much relative to the person...

its not so black and white as in sheep or non-sheep

but there are different levels

-------
Quote from barnabas at 1:00 am on Dec. 4, 2008
doommaker was a very helpful member,
until he went crazy,
and we were left with you.